Wednesday, October 19, 2011

10 things not to say

I am reblogging this post from someone else. Whilst I may not necessarily agree with all the descriptions underneath the 10 things the main principles stay the same!!

10 Things Not to Say

Someone posted 10 things not to say to someone with a long term illness on facebook, I thought it was quite good. Here they are:

10. You can't be in that much pain

There is always some problem I have with my body whether it be constipation, getting breathless, needing to cough, having a headache, my body aching etc. If I were to display to people every problem I had, I wouldn't be a very fun person to spend time with would I? I don't learn to 'ignore' my problems or 'get used to them', I learn to live with them because I have no other choice.

9. Stop being lazy and get a job

Trust me, I'd love to have a full time job and the wage that comes with it. Do people think I really enjoy sitting around all day, feeling useless? Getting a degree and not being able to put it to use? Seeing my friends have lots more money than me and talking about how great their jobs are? My illness is my job and trust me its not easy, I never get a day off. Remembering to charge things up, get IVs out, send off prescription requests, get my port flushed, waiting in for deliveries, picking up prescriptions, going to the hospital, planning physio and nebulisers in to my day, remembering all the tablets I need to take, trying to park close to where I need to be, holding in coughs, cleaning and sterilising nebulisers, remembering how many times i've been to the toilet!
Oh and I'm not lazy at all or at least I don't think I am, try doing everything on about the amount of energy you have the day after a long night out or when you have a cold.

8. You just want attention

Yes I have a life threatening illness and have known 20+ people die from this illness before their 30th birthday, just to get attention.... If anything I hide my CF from people and they have no idea how serious my illness is

7. Your illness is caused by stress

I'm not going to even address this, we all know CF is genetic

6. No pain... no gain!

Erm whats my gain? Will my CF improve or go away? Will I get a reward for having CF? If you go to the gym and work out you get fitter/more muscly, if you give birth you get a beautiful baby. Say this sentence to those type of situations please.

5. It's all in your head

Look at my medical records and tell me that, pretty certain my head didn't make me produce loads of mucus and give me lung damage or infections...

4. If you just got out of the house....

I take 2 meanings to this one
A) As in fresh air or speaking to people is going to cure me - I get out plenty thanks, in winter its not nice when I piss myself because I'm coughing so hard due to the cold!
B) As in because I can get out the house, I mustn't be that sick - I always have my illness, I have to learn to function with it. Its not a cold, I can't stay in bed for a few days and then get on with my life. Just because I can take the dog for a walk or drive to the shops, it doesn't mean I'm fit as a fiddle.

3. You're so lucky, you get to stay in bed all day!

Really? Would you really want to do that every single day? I know I wouldn't and p.s. I don't.

2. Just pray harder

If anyone said this to me I think I'd punch them

1. But you look so good!

People with illnesses do not have to look ill to be ill!! Why is there this belief that to be genuinely ill you must look it?!