It's official......

............. I'm moving house!

Not only am I moving house but I am moving away from my hometown to be with my fiance Big exciting times ahead.

We get the keys to the new house on Monday and then we have got a months overlap between giving up our old houses and moving into the new house together.

The moving van is booked for the first week in January to take all my furniture and belongings to the new house, which then gives me 10days to thoroughly clean my old house and make sure I get all of my deposit money back (which I should do!).

Quite excited but nervous at the same time.

A quick catch-up

So  realised I havent really done a proper blog recently apart from the one yesterday catching up on my weekend, so this is a quick post to catch you up on the few days before then!

Thursday was CF clinic today, it didn't go well...... lung function was back down to 52%, so I have already lost the 13% I gained from having ivs about a month ago, my weight has also dropped again by 2kgs. This means I am back in the danger zone of having IVs over christmas and a prescription has already been made and put into the pharmacy for me to start on build up drinks. This decline is probably related to the stress of preparing for moving house next month! I am also starting on some oral antibiotics, but if no improvement by the 14th, IVs it is, nicely for the period of christmas again.

Friday was the awards dinner. I did not win my category but instead came runner-up, as did my friend who was also nominated and shortlisted in the same category! The meal was quite fancy. the starter was sweet potato soup with blue cheese scone, it was very yummy and I would eat it again, the scone thing tasted like dumpling. The main course was a blade of beef with lemon & thyme dauphinoise potatoes and a carrot puree, with some broccolli, roasted carrots and swede or parsnip. I did not like this course!! The dessert was sticky toffee pudding with ice cream, this course was also nice :)

After the meal was the presentation of the awards, some photos and then home time. I took my fiance and my parents with me to the awards dinner and enjoyed my time with them

A festive weekend....

I love christmas and everything about it!! Now the start of december is upon us, the festivities start in earnest :)

This weekend was a weekend spent with my fiance and his mini-me. The tree was put up, mince pies were made, festive jumpers were worn, ceiling decorations put up and most excitingly of all a trip to santa was made!!

I have always loved christmas but sharing it with D and A this weekend has made me fall in love with it just that little bit more.

Saturday afternoon we got the tree out and decorated it, with A helping out really well and being really gentle placing the baubles on the tree and helping to place the angel on the top. He has then left the tree alone since then, as if to say, ok its up, its not affecting the space i have to play so its fine. He loved opening his advent calendar and even stole Ds first chocolate out of his as well. Some ceiling decorations were also put up, and we decided to save doing the rest of the decorations for when A wasnt around so we could get them put out safely without him wanting to break them! We took a quick trip to get a few more ceiling decorations and also got A a singing dog dressed in a santa outfit as he fell in love with it in the shop. We had already previously shown him some of the singing toys you get at christmas time and he wasnt interested in any of those in the slightest, but he fell in love with this one!! He sits and presses the button repeatedly on it for ages without getting bored, he dances along and shakes his head to it as if he is copying the dog, it is so sweet to see.

Sunday morning we were up bright and early and on our way to the farm for a trip to see santa! I decided we were a little bit crazy as when we got there at 10.15am, we were the only visitors at the farm...... not overly suprising when you realise it was 1degree outside and the ground was still frozen solid. After a play in frozen sandpit, and a quick 5min play in the soft play barn we went for a hot chocolate to warm us up. I also got A a childs one, which he really enjoyed. He was abit confused at first as to what this strange drink was in his cup as it didnt taste of orange or blackcurrant and it was warm but he soon realised it was yummy!! It was his first experience of drinking hot chocolate whilst with his daddy (and possibly his first ever hot chocolate).

We then toddled round to santas workshop, where we made some cards whilst waiting to go into his grotto. Who knew glitter could get so far!! This was really love to see as A really enjoyed himself doing this crafty activity and sat really nicely for a good 10mins on his daddys knee making the cards and having fun. We have noticed in the last few weeks he is enjoying doing things like this and will sit for longer periods of time doing them than the previous 30seconds earlier on in the year. so I think we may invest in some glue and glitter soon to make some more things with him.

then it was time to see santa, and anyone who knows A knows he is not a child who likes to sit still ever!! However he sat perfectly on the bench the entire time we were with santa (it was about 5-10mins, and you go in with a group of people so young childen dont get scared!) and didnt complain and sat looking and listening to santa and at all the bright colours and presents around him. BONUS he didnt try and grab any of the wrapped presents and open them! It was so magical to see him visit santa and then daddy and A got their picture taken with santa as well. Just before we left A was given a present which he opened with daddy :)

We then decided to go home as A was ready for his nap. Sunday afternoon I made some mince pies for D (because Im just that nice) and A helped me make them which he also really enjoyed and was very good with. We might make cakes next weekend as he really seemed to enjoy it :) He didnt quite like it so much when the rolling pin was taken away because we were all finished and he still wanted to play or when i made him sit for a photo to show them off but he wasnt allowed to eat one (they were still too hot).

Its been an all round wonderful weekend and I cant wait to get the tree up in my house now as well and spend more time doing some fun christmas crafts and seeing what the rest of the month brings.

anyone else suffer from this???

Exciting news

So a few weeks ago I discoverd I was nominated for a local award in the 'Best Volunteer' category.

Today I received an email to say I was a finalist in this category and was invited to an awards ceremony in a weeks time. Exciting times!!

I have no idea who has nominated me for this award or who thinks I was good enough to vote for me to make a finalist.

I just have to say a big THANK YOU to all of those people.

It is an honour that people feel my hard work is worth reflecting in this way and even if I dont win, I will still be proud that I was a finalist and even nominated at all.

The freakiest thing of all is one of my fellow leaders and friends has also been nominated in the same category and is also a finalist. So we are sharing this accolade together.

Whoever wins I am sure will be a well deserved winner and I plan on enjoying my evening out at a fancy hotel with fancy food immensely. On the plus side I get to see D all dressed up looking smart again yay :D

If only this could be true, seriously.........

So things seem to be going fairly well at the minute, mostly anyway.

Wedding plans seem to be progressing well, lots of things organised and sorted. Other things in the pipeline with ideas and soon to be sorted.

The packing up of my house ready to move in January has started. Some boxes have already moved, some furniture has already been sold, ALOT of rubbish has already been thrown out. Give it another week or 2 and my entire spare room will be empty of my possessions, which then leaves my bedroom and living room to start clearing out properly.

My health is up and down. I am having issues with the diabetes and I really need to get my act together and start doing more detailed blood testing because I know thats the first thing the hospital will stay. I've invested in new pill holders for my daily CF tablets to make it easier to carry them around with me as I am currently travelling between a number of different places.

Beavers is going well, 5 of them have started their moving on award and 3 new ones joined the colony to replace them. We have lots of badges planned and they all seem to be enjoying themselves. I really need to sort some planning out to send to the other leaders so they know what they are doing in the next few weeks.

Looking forward to the start of december when all things christmassy can really commence. All the presents I have currently bought are all now wrapped and seperated into bags or boxes depending on the location they need to be sent to. my final presents are due in the post in the next few days, so they too can then be wrapped.

Beaver sleepover

The beaver sleepover went well. I came in well under budget which was even better. The beavers arrived at 10am and the first thing they did was go for a walk (yes in the nice frosty, snow sat on the cars, very large chill in the air) to collect things like leaves to make a collage picture later on in the afternoon.

There lunch afterwards was a very warming jacket potato with beans and cheese, which was shovelled down by the kids! Followed by a cupcake each that the young leader had made for them.

The afternoon was filled up with making play-doh, finger paints, cake pops and collage pictures with the leaves they had collected earlier. We also had a visit from a local running/athletics group who taught the kids some cool things to help make them run faster and to be able to succeed in the long jump and high jump when they are older. 1 of the ladies also brought in her olympic torch for everybody to have a hold and a picture taken!

After that very busy afternoon, we had decided we would treat the beavers to takeaway pizza. We ordered 6 cheese and tomato pizzas for 13 beavers (the youngest being 6, the oldest being 8). I thought there would be loads of pizza left over- there was 3 slices. So between 13 of them they devoured 45 slices of pizza! It was an impressive sight! The adults also all had their own pizza (with whatever topping they wanted, I just stuck to cheese and tomato for the kids for simplicity). We ate it out the box all sat round in a circle on the floor. The kids were abit confused to start with but then got into it.

After pizza we went outside and did sparklers, before coming in, getting into our pjs, setting our beds up (roll mats and sleeping bags!) and watching a film using the projector I had borrowed. I took 'The rescuers' for them to watch, and not 1 of them had seen it before! Sad days for classic disney. They all enjoyed it and were all fast asleep by 9.30pm. Even those who had been worried/upset when they first arrived about staying had no problems what so ever.

Sunday morning, due to the clock change, we were all up, dressed and beds packed away by 7.30am. Ready for our breakfast of cereal, followed by pancakes and ice cream for the beavers and bacon butties for the adults! We then did a spaghetti and marshmallows challenge (which our beaver mascot also helped with):

Mr Beaver also decided to sit in amongst everything that the beavers had to take home with them (it was an impressive amount for a 24hour sleepover):

The badges the beavers got for coming on the sleepover:

At the end of the sleepover, we invested 2 of our newest beavers into the colony and handed out lots of badges (the beavers who were the newest and had been invested went home with 9 badges!), all of the things they had made and some certificates congratulating them on surviving a beaver sleepover.

The last picture is of me on the sunday morning about 9am, with another hour left to go on the sleepover. I was operating on about 5hours sleep! Whilst the kids slept all night we had some whimperers in the sleep and instinct kicks in for you to go check on them and make sure they are alright. I never sleep well on a beaver sleepover!

So that was a beaver sleepover in a nutshell!

Catch up time

So the IVs have finished. At the start of them my lung function had dropped to a new all time low of 52%, by midway they had come up to a fairly respectable 62% and a week after they finished when it was retested it was back to 58%. 58% seems to be my new norm. I dont really like it to be honest but its something to deal with and live with. This time last year my norm was about 65%. It doesnt sound like a big difference but if it drops the same amount every year, it will be just 3-4years before it is in the 30s and words like 'you should consider lung transplant' are bandied around. I would rather those words werent heard until like another 10years or so, so now it becomes a battle to get my CF team to support me and work out a way to keep them stable at where they are now for a few more years.

Wedding plans are going fairly well. I now have the church booked, a reception venue booked, the mens suits booked, bridesmaids have been asked and accepted their roles, the ushers have been asked and accepted their roles, D has a best man, I have a colour theme. The cake design is sorted, save the date cards have been ordered and sent out, lots of ideas for the little extra bits have been thought of and are being worked on.

I am finding wedding planning and it all involves quite stressful, but not the parts you would think. Things people say should be extremely stressful, I have completed with relative ease, the bits that should be fun and joyful I am finding the most stressful. I am already sick to the back teeth of the phrase 'its your day, you should have what you want BUT' as this is then usually followed with something I don't really want or like but will end up having no choice of having or doing to please other people.

a beaver sleepover is planned and organised and being run at the weekend. Hopefully the kids will enjoy it, about half the colony are going which is a good number. Got some parent helpers as well which is even better.

Cystic Fibrosis Challenge

Let me know if you have a go!

photos (updated)

I realised it may be helpful for some people to maybe have a little bit of a better understanding as to what IVs are and what the process kind of involves, so here are some photos to show, which may make things easier to understand.

So firstly, my veins are rubbish. After 10years of constant access and needing antibiotics through my veins (IVs= intra venous antibiotics) they finally gave in and I had to have a port-a-cath (port) implanted, which has a line that runs directly into my heart. This port is then needled and I have instant access when needed, things are alot simpler and easier than the attempts to insert long lines or cannulas which could give up the ghost at any point during a 2 week course. So just to clarify- I always have the port (which is under my skin and when its not needled if you want to have a feel just ask!) in my body, but there isnt always a needle there. Below is a diagram of what a port looks like and in the picture it is actually the same place as where I have mine! Also a picture of the needle that is used to access it.

So this is what it looks like when my port is needled, you can just see the clamp on my line at the bottom of the picture and under the white gauze is the needle (See pictures above). You need a clamp on the line so that blood cant come back into it, potentially blocking it and causing lots of problems.

This is a picture of the anti-sickness tablet I have been put on to help with some of the side effects but it also leaves me feeling incredibly sleepy!

The drugs fridge with 5 days worth of medication in it and some of the ancilliary stuff on the top for flushing between antibiotics.

My IV tray, pretty much set up for the next dose of IVs (just missing 1 of the antibiotics).

So a dose of IVs goes flush, drug, flush, drug, flush, heparin. The flush is just simple saline to clean the line. Alot of the antibiotics cant mix in the line because if they do they can crystallise and then block it, so its always very important to put saline through before and after each drug. Then right at the end you put heparin through to prevent any blood clots forming in the line between use. Below is the tray with all the stuff ready to go! Looks scarier than it really is.

 Giving the first flush:

 Connected to the first antibiotic:

 The device being used is called an intermate. Its like the pumps they use in hospital but disposable and doesnt make an irritating beepy noises!!

1 big bundle of emotional

So I most say I completely forgot the emotional impact IVs have on me as well as the physical side effects of the drugs.

I again spent a good portion of my afternoon in tears, this time after having a falling out with my mother and we spent an hour and a half in total silence in the house- that wasnt uncomfortable at all! I think our argument is resolved now, things may just be on thin ground for awhile as we walk this very interesting tight rope.

I feel like everything is all on a very fine line with everything, with lots of pressure from lots of people for lots of different reasons and I cant keep it all balanced and keep everyone happy. I am very close to my breaking point and going to end up snapping big time, so if you see me in the next few weeks I apologise now for any extreme emotional outburst you may witness!

IVs are onto day 3. I spent most of yesterday sleeping interspersed with a visit from my friend in the afternoon and my fiance in the evening. Today I did abit more sleeping and made it the beavers meeting. As I type my evening dose of IVs are entering my system and I'm gradually feeling worse and will be shortly going to bed.

The side effects are not great with these 2 drugs and as they enter my system I seem to get a surge of them, which then gradually die down over the 8hr gap before rising again. I know this isnt just a psychological things as I will wake up in a morning and just know that I am connected to my ivs, even though I havent heard my mum enter or leave my room to start them. Its not great and very hard to comprehend how it is to feel like I do, unless you have experienced it yourself.

I have already got back into the habit of tucking my line into my bra, so it doesnt dangle down, so less likely to get pulled or caught. Its an interesting sight!!

not a good day

In fact I would go so far as to say it was an utterly rubbish day and i am struggling to find a positive for it.

IVs were started. lung function bad. weight bad. Starting on nutritional supplements to try and help weight gain. IV antibiotics already started and most definitely needed.

Falling out with fiance because I cant be positive. All I want is a hug and who knows when I will actually see him again, currently sat in tears on parents sofa.

Believe in yourself

Believe in yourself!

Don't let anyone stop you doing what you want to do! Original thoughts are what create amazing things

Tea

Do not get between me and my brew!

CF

Pretty accurate description.  I feel so extremely lucky that I have found someone who is happy to take on the burden of CF

8 months and 23 days

Thats how long it has been since I last started IVs!! Or will be based on when I next start them, which will be next tuesday.

After spending the last couple of months gradually and almost unnoticably getting worse. Day to day tasks getting that little bit harder to complete, things like that.

Also despite my best efforts the weight is dropping off. I have now lost a kilo in weight since being at clinic two weeks ago-thats not great news.

So on Tuesday I will be starting 2 weeks of IVs and will be doing them at my parents house so my mum can help do some of the doses and things like cook for me so I dont have to, so hopefully can get the best benefit from them.

I am getting my 'wonder' drug and 1 other, so although the side effects from the tazocin are not great the good stuff it does is worth it. I will be on anti-sickness tablets from the start this time so hopefully the tazocin side effects wont be so bad.

Gangshow

A Gang Show is a theatrical performance with a cast of members from Scouts and Guides. This includes adult leaders! There is a senior gang made up of anyone aged over 12 usually and a junior gang of anyone aged 8-12yrs.

The format of a Gang Show is essentially a revue or variety show; song, dance and short comedy sketches are the most common items. The number of items varies (commonly ranging between 12 and 25): some are stand-alone, others are a series of songs conforming to a chosen theme, or a running gag.
A typical show will include a big opening number, some comedy sketches, several musical items with a mix of group and solo work, dance numbers and of course a grand finale. Some of the material is well-known, other material is original to Gang Shows, sometimes even penned by the young people themselves.
The show's format was created by the late Ralph Reader CBE, the original Gang Show producer, who went on to write much material for Gang Shows, sketches musical numbers and Pageants including the signature tune On the Crest of a Wave.


So now you all know what a gangshow is- you are probably still wondering why I am blogging about it. Well the district that I belong to as a beaver scout leader has just started their rehearsals for gangshow. We hold one every 2years. This will be the second gangshow I will be a part of.

The last show my lung function was at 68% during rehearsals and I was ready to go on IVs at the end of the week with a lung function of about 62%. At the start of the rehearsals my lung function is sitting at 56% which is my apparent new norm. I thought I would be ok and that although I found some of the rehearsals tough last time I would still be ok. I am currently being proven wrong. So far we have only sung through the finale songs and that is enough to make my chest sore and achy because its getting tight and wheezy and generally making me cough my guts up. Things could get interesting but I still plan on perservering. I refuse to let this disease stop me from doing something else I enjoy doing.

So singing songs such as 'Religion of life' and 'crest of the wave' is most definitely interesting with a 56% lung function but I will not be deterred.............

Friendship musings...

So I've been doing some thinking, mainly about how so much has changed in the space of 9 months. Someone who I considered to be one of my best friends stopped talking to me, mainly from what I can understand was a difference in an opinion and she didn't like it. I've been luckily enough to meet the man I plan on spending the rest of my life with and he has never met her and she has never met him. I never dreamt she would be out of my life, but so it seems is the case. Every day I see things around me that remind me of her, I still have photos and presents that she gave me all around my house and I dont think I will ever be able to get rid of them either. Just tonight I used the 1 person teapot and cup set she gave me, realised Freddy is still sat in my living room (hes a me to you bear she gave me in my 2nd yr of uni) watching over me and in the kitchen above my sink is a plaque about friendship, also from this person. Then on facebook I saw these 2 photos which resonated with me quite alot over this situation:

The first one especially as I have tried 2 or 3 times in the last 9months and there has just been no response or interest. I don't even know if she still has the same number or email address. The second one is true also because all I did was speak honestly about my feelings and thoughts and offered an opinion and its been blown so out of proportion that it seems she was angry about honesty.

I need to look to the future and stop thinking about what could have been and why some friendships survive and why some die. I think about this alot and there will be many a musing on this topic.

The fleetingness of happiness......

Life is a funny thing. True happiness is this rare and fleeting thing that can pass many by completely while others seem to be able to keep a grasp on it for longer periods of time and feel perfectly content.

A psychologist called Maslow has even developed a theory on this called the hierarchy of needs, with the highest point that any body can reach is self-actualisation. The theory starts with the most basic of physiological needs- food, water and sheleter. How is anyone meant to survive or feel happy if any one of these are removed and continues to progress with things like comfort and security in job or home. The need I want to talk about is self-actualization, which for many believe is only a fleeting achievement and easily taken away. Self-actualisation is when every other need in the hierarchy in the system is fulfilled and you literally are on top of that world. A good example for self-actualisation is an olympic athlete finally acheiving that gold medal. The feelings this provides will fulfill the self-actualisation need, but only for a temporary time before some other thing will come along which takes the shine away from it, the need to train harder and faster for the next competition. So for those athletes never lucky enough to get a gold medal may never achieve self-actualisation but then you have examples like Michael Phelps who have received lots of gold medals and thus have a prolonged period of self-actualisation.


For those who are interested these thoughts and this blog come from the fact I got engaged. This for me is one of my periods of self-actualisation. I could not be more happier than I am right now. However what I am failing to understand is why there are people out there, people who are supposed to care and mean alot to me are trying to take away my happiness by only uttering every single negative thought they can think of instead of just being happy for me. I am pretty certain that when my sister and brother both said they were engaged they just got 'congratulations' and 'when is the wedding?' and were not bombarded with questions such as where are you going to live, what about hospital appointments, what about getting your medication, are you sure thats a good idea, wont you miss people if you move away, what about your hobbies, will you give up scouts, are you sure its a good idea.

So to clarify my situation- yes i am engaged, yes in a few months time I will be moving an hour away from my home town to live with my fiance. Yes I will still continue to go to hospital appointments and take medication.

Fine be worried about me and miss me but let me enjoy my happiness for a short while before you bring these things up. I am not a naive 18 yr old, I did think about all of these things and they were talked about before a proposal even happened, please give me some credit.

I feel like I may very quickly tattoo on my forehead 'if you cant say anything nice or positive dont say anything at all'.

So now I have ranted and feel ever so slightly better for it and even made some use of my psychology degree (which I will also point out the same negative people over the news of engagement and moving house were also extremely negative about me going to university and oh look I survived and did do well there) I will end with a picture of my ring!

Exciting news!!!

Exciting news going on in my life right now:

I got engaged at the weekend!!!!

So extremely happy right now. When you find the person you can't live without and feel like you are complete when they are around you just know. I've never felt this way before and can't wait to begin planning the wedding and spend the rest of my life with D.

My last week of August was spent in Wales with my bf and his son. It was a good week and we did lots of different things, including celebrating 2 birthdays! Below is some photos from the week:

We spent our days playing and visiting his family. I got to try out Mario & Sonic at the london olympic games on the wii whilst visiting his sister and nephew and nieces. The kids managed to beat me quite thoroughly but I enjoyed it and it reinforced my wish to have this game in my possession sometime soon. Hopefully I will be able to convince my bf he will want to play on it occasionally too.

We visited his other sister for tea one evening as well which was highly yummy and was to my knowledge the first time I had eaten chilli and I enjoyed it!

A soft play area was visited and a walk round some shops was indulged in afterwards for the adults whilst the child slept.

We spent sometime at a place called Gypsy Wood (which I think was most definitely for the adults) which had a model railway set-up and you could look for fairies as you went exploring. A trip to the swimming pool was included and was an experience which was enjoyed by all.

Since getting home I spent my birthday money on amazon purchasing some items of my wishlist. These items include: Brothers & Sisters Series 5, The big bang theory series 5, Life Season 1, Ladybird classic collection 1000piece jigsaw, The greek myths: The complete and definitive edition (book), Best shop in town jigsaw (1000piece), The hour I first believed by Wally Lamb (book), For One more day by Mitch Albom (book) and The IT crowd series 4.

That was some good money birthday spending. I am still waiting for it to arrive though as I went for super saver delivery and I got an email yesterday saying they had been delayed and wont be dispatched until the 10th.

After spending my birthday money I then continued to browse online at different things and managed to find christmas presents for my bf and his mum at some bargainous prices. So they were also ordered and bought and still being delivered in the post. I am going to feel extremely popular over the next few days with lots of different parcels arriving!

A hotel stay

So on the 22nd August I used the raffle prize that I won back in May. A night in the Lincoln Hotel for 2 with complimentary dinner included.

The lincoln hotel is a pretty posh hotel and our room offered us a cathedral view.

We arrived in Lincoln wednesday morning and did some shopping in the centre of Lincoln before moving upto the hotel, checking in and then browing some of the shops in the bailgate area. We also went into the first part of the Cathedral so I could show D the interior of it. I on principle refuse to pay to visit a church or cathedral as I dont believe you should pay to enter a religious building (I would however willingly give a donation if I was to enter a building like this), so we didn't go round it and consequently I've still not seen the famous Lincoln imp in there.

We then went back to the hotel to get ready for our evening meal. I must admit we both scrubbed up very well! I wore a dress for the second time in a week (!) and D wore a very nice shirt and black trousers. The resturant was really rather posh and 'fine dining' indeed! I had mushroom soup, steak and chips (6 chips on the plate!) and D had roasted leg of duck, corn fed chicken breast followed by chocolate fudge cake. The fudge cake was so rich that it was basically chocolate covered fudge rather than cake!!

After the meal we went for a walk down steep hill and then back up it!!

The hotel breakfast was particularly sublime. I dined on cereal, fry-up and fresh fruit. It was the most I had eaten for breakfast in a very long time!! We then checked-out and made our way back down into the main part of Lincoln and visited the Range. Where we purchased a couple of photo frames to adorn D's living room walls and a couple of other pieces.

The experience was amazing and there is no way I could ever afford to stay in a hotel like that just because. We worked out with the room we was given and everything that was included in the evening meal it should of cost around £400 to stay there!! Thats a crazy amount of money to spend on one night away.

Picture

So I saw this is on facebook and downloaded it! It made me chuckle. I would of preferred a working pancreas but this is what life gave me instead and hey if you can't have a laugh and a joke things just get abit too depressing!! So as CEO of a Diabetic Body I love it!!

Quite frankly my body wouldnt even miss my pancreas if it was removed completely, seeing as it hasnt produced insulin for the last 8 years and has never worked in its capacity to produce the required enzymes to digest food, hence the ridiculous amount of tablets I need with food. Does the pancreas even do anything else apart from those 2 jobs?????

What I've accomplished in the last week

Thats right, alot of jigsaw completing with a little bit of home baking (it was my first attempt at egg custard)