Wedding!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

1 big bundle of emotional

So I most say I completely forgot the emotional impact IVs have on me as well as the physical side effects of the drugs.

I again spent a good portion of my afternoon in tears, this time after having a falling out with my mother and we spent an hour and a half in total silence in the house- that wasnt uncomfortable at all! I think our argument is resolved now, things may just be on thin ground for awhile as we walk this very interesting tight rope.

I feel like everything is all on a very fine line with everything, with lots of pressure from lots of people for lots of different reasons and I cant keep it all balanced and keep everyone happy. I am very close to my breaking point and going to end up snapping big time, so if you see me in the next few weeks I apologise now for any extreme emotional outburst you may witness!

IVs are onto day 3. I spent most of yesterday sleeping interspersed with a visit from my friend in the afternoon and my fiance in the evening. Today I did abit more sleeping and made it the beavers meeting. As I type my evening dose of IVs are entering my system and I'm gradually feeling worse and will be shortly going to bed.

The side effects are not great with these 2 drugs and as they enter my system I seem to get a surge of them, which then gradually die down over the 8hr gap before rising again. I know this isnt just a psychological things as I will wake up in a morning and just know that I am connected to my ivs, even though I havent heard my mum enter or leave my room to start them. Its not great and very hard to comprehend how it is to feel like I do, unless you have experienced it yourself.

I have already got back into the habit of tucking my line into my bra, so it doesnt dangle down, so less likely to get pulled or caught. Its an interesting sight!!

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