Feeling blessed and lucky

These last three weeks have been hard. There is nothing that can deny that these last 3 weeks have been the poorliest I ever remember being and having to face up to, as an adult I was expected to cope with everything they told me without asking them to wait for my mum to be there, especially when I was potentially having a chest drain fitted. Every other major procedure I have had in my life (anything which involves anaesthia and being cut open to me is a major procedure, especially when they can occur life threating complications if anything goes wrong) my mum has been there to go down with me and leave me at the doors of the theater, not this time though. I was doing it alone. Sure my parents visited everyday and my fiance visited every other day but rarely were they there when the doctors were telling me these things. So yes a pretty scary 3 weeks (especially when you are then stupid enough to google all the proper medical terms once you get home!).

So why do I feel so blessed and lucky? because my fiance is still there by my side. If I was finding it pretty scary at times then I have no idea how he must of been feeling. Talk about a baptism of fire into what the true reality of living with someone with cystic fibrosis can be like. Sure he knows I have tablets and nebulisers at home and has seen me coughing my guts up. However he has only ever experienced one set of IVs before and they were done at home and I wasn't anywhere near as bas as I was this time.

I just feel so lucky that I have found someone who can see through all of the medical things that need to be done and still wants to be with me. Who is happy to spent nights curled up on the sofa or in bed watching a DVD because I'm just too damn tired to be doing anything else. Someone who is happy to walk in the door after working 8.5hours and tell me to sit down whilst he does jobs round the house, jobs that I should be capable of doing but currently not. It is so frustrating currently not being able to do much of anything for a number of reasons, a) because I have been told to rest for 6 weeks with no strenuous activity (who knew this included hoovering!) and b) because my body is physically stopping me from doing too much as it starts complaining in pain. I just about managed the drive home from my parents house (40mins) but halfway through my chest started to hurt and all I was capable of doing when I did get in was sit on the sofa for an hour before the pain went away.

I'm pretty certain I don't deserve someone as loving and kind as D in my life and I can only hope he truly knows just how much he means to me and how much I love him and would do anything I could for him.So for as long as he is part of my life and his wonderful, cheeky, smily mini-me (who I have missed so much in the last 3 weeks its been unreal) I will always continue to feel blessed and lucky no matter what ever else life has to throw at me. As with D & A by my side, I know I can get through anything.